


Coping

by rexyellowcounty



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Free Verse, Gen, Period Typical Attitudes, Poetry, Self-Hatred, Social Anxiety, Stress Relief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15812004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexyellowcounty/pseuds/rexyellowcounty
Summary: i wake upevery hair follicle tied to the sheetsstomach attempting to be flatheart drops to the earths corearms pinned to the bedlegs dragged downsucked in cheekshead sunken indry, loose, lipsjelly legsfluttering eyestime to start the day.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When i am overcome with a very strong emotion, i write it down, so this is basically a bunch of poetry that has accumulated in my notes, i'm open to any criticism !!
> 
> enjoy?

head between my legs

indistinguishable handwriting

letter shaped dents on the paper

hugging my pillow tight

sour notes on the piano

white scratch marks all over

volume to the full capacity

sinking fingernails

muffled screams

toxic rants

running far

leaking ink

writing this poem

\- _coping_

 

 

It's a shark biting at your feet

A whale swallowing you whole

An overdose of heroin, how sweet

Underneath the bed, a troll

It's the waves pulling you in

The voice in your head kicking the brain

The new text from him

Starting a new sports team

Getting out of an airplane

Trying to handstand on a balance beam

A popped vain

\- _anxiety_

 

 

_When you're on your porch_

_50 years from now_

_With no one to talk to_

_Don't call me_

_Talk to the sunflowers_

 

 

I'm

supposed

to be

asleep

right

now

guess

we'll 

wait 

and

see

if 

there's 

thick

eyelids

when

i

wake

 _-_ _you rubbed salt in the wrong area_

 

drooping lips,

non existent jawline,

chipped nails,

maroon eye bags

\- _insecurities_

 

 

There are few 

physical scars

but many

emotional ones

that still stand

except

society 

only

really

cares 

about

the ones that show

\- _i still flinch when i hear your name_

 

 

Up in the plane

looked down

and realized

how ~~insignificant~~  

life really is

each ~~house~~ ,

is a monopoly piece

all of the ~~cars~~ ,

are ants

the ~~roads~~ ,

stretched out taffy

 ~~people~~ , 

can't even be seen

 

 

Ordering,

an adult meal

Staying,

in the background

Paying,

for the clothes

Reading,

filthy magazines

Understanding,

dirty jokes

Losing,

metabolism speed

Worrying,

about weight

Increasing,

blood pressure

Growing,

up is tough

 

 

I'd rather be

thin,

aggravated,

starved,

trapped,

than

fat,

joyous,

full,

free.

 

 

**so·cial-anx·i·e·ty**

/ˈsōSHəl aNGˈzīədē/

_adjective_

 

avoiding people because it is an illness, not because you are _weak._

 

 

Hundreds of eyes are attracted to my face,

as if there were magnets latched on,

to every square inch of skin

so,

brain

races

frantically

wondering,

if it should take it as a compliment.

 

 

Your unwanted gaze

upon my naked,

helpless,

mortified,

body,

broke every single bone of courage

that i once had.

_\- i lock my bedroom door now_

 

 

I think it was the age

where i could start

beating you

at board games

where you

could talk

to me 

seriously

\- _parents_

 

 

**Fire**

I am allowed to hate

you have no right

to criticize me on that.

 

 

My tummy

is sending electric waves 

to parts

all over the world

yet,

you

still fail

to respond

_\- take me to a therapist_

 

 

**Lemon Juice**

My soul is a half-charged battery,

waiting to be replenished with silence,

waiting to be drained with interaction.

 

 

even your **mere** existence

makes me consider

why

i should be living mine

\- _aren't parents supposed to make our lives easier?_

 

_i really hope i'm not._

 

 

I wish

there was someone

who had the right equipment

to strip down

every

single

layer

of emotional defence

that i lay out.

 

 

tug.

yank.

twist.

pull the plug

let it all flood in,

the hopelessness 

the longing

the spiralling 

\- _summer depression_

 


	2. imreallytiredthisdaysucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More trash :3
> 
> I’m rly uninspired atm so this is a short chapter

How come others  
Don’t walk around  
With two giant boulders  
On either shoulder  
How come others   
Don’t walk around  
With bricks  
Duct taped   
to their shoes


End file.
